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  • Personal Writing

    Taking off…but to where?

    April 28, 2023 / 0 Comments

    The end of one thing is always the beginning of something else. And there's almost always good and less-than-good with each transition. Many of our "taking off" experiences are "both and" moments. I'm happy AND sad. I'm terrified AND excited.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Getting past enduring

    January 4, 2020

    Be here. Now. Wait, what?

    October 8, 2022

    Comfortably uncomfortable

    January 1, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Resistance, messy journeys and mountaintops

    February 3, 2023 / 0 Comments

    After that conversation, I listened to a podcast with Oprah Winfrey and Steven Pressfield about his book, The War of Art. I've read the book multiple times and always find it valuable, but this conversation hit me differently. My internal force, aka Resistance, is rearing its ugly head because I've had the audacity to dare greatly. I've told the world I've left my comfort zone and have entered into the great unknown Resistance is working its hardest to stop me from taking the next step, from looking at the proverbial pie and saying, "I want a bigger piece of that." In the book, Pressfield says, "The more important a call…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    2020: my year in review

    December 31, 2020

    A day of loss, LEGO and (the start of) love

    September 11, 2019

    Universe, what are you telling me?

    February 9, 2021
  • Personal Writing

    The bark of perfection aka looks can be deceiving

    July 13, 2022 / 0 Comments

    When Dr Marry was at the height of his drinking, I told no one. The darker the interior rings got, the harder I worked to maintain a healthy exterior because I was terrified of my reality being found out, of being deemed rotten and cut down.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    In conflict with faith

    August 31, 2019

    Taking thanks one step further

    August 23, 2020

    Moving through the dark

    December 20, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Why walking not talking really matters

    June 4, 2022 / 1 Comment

    It can be overwhelming to realize that talking rarely changes things. And it adds to the shame you already feel for uttering something out loud that doesn't get better. That kind of "failure" can lead to making worse and more poor decisions.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Two Voices of Hope: Three Years, and I’m Still Counting My Blessings (7a)

    March 14, 2020

    Two Voices of Hope: Our Beginning, From My Side (2a)

    February 8, 2020

    Dr Marry, by any other name, would be as sweet…

    April 4, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Looks can be deceiving

    February 25, 2022 / 0 Comments

    This photo popped up in my memories today. I’m sharing it because behind this absolutely stunning dress (my grandma’s that she wore to the 1961 or 63 ND Governor’s Ball) and big smile is a woman who is as sick as she has ever been (including when I had COVID in Dec 2020). She is hopped up on DayQuil to the point of near hallucination. Her chest and back are covered in stress hives. She has a bruise on her chin from where she passed out the morning before getting out of the shower. Her husband is on day 8 of in-patient rehab for alcoholism and has been away from…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    We’re day drinking all week long, and then this popped up. What a difference five years can make.

    December 23, 2021

    No more flitting like a honey bee OR We’re launching something new!

    July 14, 2020

    I started a podcast!

    November 11, 2019
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    It’s my five year -versary, too

    February 1, 2022 / 4 Comments

    If he had died, so many of my "problems" would have been solved. I would have gotten his life insurance policy, which would have taken care of the financial insecurity we constantly faced. I would have been cast as the poor, young widow whose husband had gone too soon. People who'd lived with alcoholism somewhere in their lives would have passed knowing glances at whatever reason given for his death because I certainly didn't know that that was what we were dealing with. He'd always been kind of "sickly," so I guess the rest of us would have chalked it up to a poor constitution, as if we didn't have…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Two Voices of Hope: Progress (6c podcast)

    March 12, 2020

    Life Lessons from afternoon tea

    May 1, 2021

    Looks can be deceiving

    July 2, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    We’re day drinking all week long, and then this popped up. What a difference five years can make.

    December 23, 2021 / 1 Comment

    If alcohol is ruining your life or the life of someone you love, I implore you to get real about it and find help to overcome it. I promise you there is an abundance on the other side of drinking to excess. There can still be trips to fancy bars and fun holiday drinks to order. But there's also human connection, real engagement and a healthy, joyful life.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    An added bonus amidst the stress

    April 28, 2020

    Lessons from cross country skiing

    January 8, 2022

    There’s something about the Irish

    March 17, 2021
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    A ripple effect of being married to an alcoholic enjoying sobriety

    August 25, 2021 / 0 Comments

    I can see in retrospect, and with so much more knowledge about Mazz in particular and alcoholism in general, that I was making my own sets of excuses. I was desperate not to believe what this person was saying about Mazz. In re-reading these exchanges, which I haven't looked at it in nearly 10 years, my stomach is tight, my anxiety is ratcheting up and I am immediately back in the swirl of knowing something is desperately wrong but not being able to articulate it. I don't know this because I haven't spent enough time with spouses of addicts or those in recovery to prove this theory out, but I…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Two Voices of Hope: Up and Down (5a)

    February 29, 2020

    Looks can be deceiving

    July 2, 2020

    Two Voices of Hope: Hitting the First Bottom (3a)

    February 15, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Uncategorized

    Now I’m married to an American?

    May 14, 2021 / 2 Comments

    I hurt his feelings terribly one day when I said, "Become a citizen, but you'll never BE American anyway." What I meant was that he will never have our Manifest Destiny propaganda, I mean spirit; he'll never tromp through the world with our sense of clueless, boisterous entitlement. He'll always have a sense of empathy for the underdog because his dad had to sleep on a park bench when he first arrived in England because no one would rent a hotel room to an Irishman. He'll always be comfortable with multiculturalism because, for all their ongoing struggles with race, England does seem to better embrace it than America does. He'll…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    What’s your origin story?

    May 5, 2023

    Dr Marry, by any other name, would be as sweet…

    April 4, 2020

    Two Voices of Hope: Our Beginning, From My Side (2b video)

    February 11, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    February 1st was our second chance at life and love

    February 1, 2021 / 1 Comment

    In many ways, I did become a widow that night. I did lose the husband I had had from May 31, 2008 to February 1, 2017. That man began a six-week journey of dying and being reborn simultaneously, Phoenix-like. And, actually, I did, too.

    read more
    Dayna Del Val

    You May Also Like

    Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD week 1 recap

    July 18, 2020

    I double dog dare you…

    March 27, 2021

    A day of loss, LEGO and (the start of) love

    September 11, 2019
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