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  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Looks can be deceiving

    February 25, 2022 / 0 Comments

    This photo popped up in my memories today. I’m sharing it because behind this absolutely stunning dress (my grandma’s that she wore to the 1961 or 63 ND Governor’s Ball) and big smile is a woman who is as sick as she has ever been (including when I had COVID in Dec 2020). She is hopped up on DayQuil to the point of near hallucination. Her chest and back are covered in stress hives. She has a bruise on her chin from where she passed out the morning before getting out of the shower. Her husband is on day 8 of in-patient rehab for alcoholism and has been away from…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    August 13, 2020

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    February 18, 2020

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    March 19, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    It’s my five year -versary, too

    February 1, 2022 / 4 Comments

    If he had died, so many of my "problems" would have been solved. I would have gotten his life insurance policy, which would have taken care of the financial insecurity we constantly faced. I would have been cast as the poor, young widow whose husband had gone too soon. People who'd lived with alcoholism somewhere in their lives would have passed knowing glances at whatever reason given for his death because I certainly didn't know that that was what we were dealing with. He'd always been kind of "sickly," so I guess the rest of us would have chalked it up to a poor constitution, as if we didn't have…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    February 18, 2020

    I started a podcast!

    November 11, 2019

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    May 25, 2022
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    We’re day drinking all week long, and then this popped up. What a difference five years can make.

    December 23, 2021 / 1 Comment

    If alcohol is ruining your life or the life of someone you love, I implore you to get real about it and find help to overcome it. I promise you there is an abundance on the other side of drinking to excess. There can still be trips to fancy bars and fun holiday drinks to order. But there's also human connection, real engagement and a healthy, joyful life.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Lucky 13

    May 31, 2021

    7-card stud, Texas hold ’em, 5-card draw…

    January 29, 2021

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    March 14, 2020
  • Personal Writing

    A reminder to be grateful to myself

    October 20, 2021 / 2 Comments

    Have you ever gotten a foreshadowing of a life-changing moment? I'm pretty sure that's what's happening, and I'm marking it here because it's easy to think I'll remember how I felt on this end.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Comfortably uncomfortable

    January 1, 2020

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    November 3, 2020

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    June 27, 2019
  • Dr. Marry and Me

    Stepping away from an opportunity

    September 22, 2021 / 2 Comments

    Yesterday, we Ubered away from a networking and learning opportunity Dr Marry and I’ve been anticipating for months. And every mile we got further from the casino resort where we were staying in southern California made me feel lighter and better. How in the world did we get here anyway? Earlier this year, we had a guest on Daily Dose of Dr Marry & DD whom I had found and reached out to on LinkedIn because he posted his 33-year sobriety chip. It was only after he was on that I discovered he’s a big deal: NYT bestselling author of multiple books, high profile public speaker and more. After our…

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    Dayna Del Val

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  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    A ripple effect of being married to an alcoholic enjoying sobriety

    August 25, 2021 / 0 Comments

    I can see in retrospect, and with so much more knowledge about Mazz in particular and alcoholism in general, that I was making my own sets of excuses. I was desperate not to believe what this person was saying about Mazz. In re-reading these exchanges, which I haven't looked at it in nearly 10 years, my stomach is tight, my anxiety is ratcheting up and I am immediately back in the swirl of knowing something is desperately wrong but not being able to articulate it. I don't know this because I haven't spent enough time with spouses of addicts or those in recovery to prove this theory out, but I…

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    Dayna Del Val

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  • Dr. Marry and Me

    Daily Dose is one, and there’s so much to celebrate!

    July 17, 2021 / 0 Comments

    If we went back and analyzed all the episodes of this last year, I'd bet "shame" is the most used word. I want Daily Dose to grow its reach because shame is such an awful place to live. Dr Marry and I were both residents there for many years, and we know exactly how damaging that address is. The interesting thing about Shameville is that it's not just for addicts and their families.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD week 2 recap

    July 25, 2020

    We’re day drinking all week long, and then this popped up. What a difference five years can make.

    December 23, 2021

    Lessons from cross country skiing

    January 8, 2022
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Springtime despair

    May 29, 2021 / 12 Comments

    In many ways, I regret the surge of frantic energy around work, as if we have to make up for the past 15 months right now. RIGHT NOW! There is no making up for it. It was both a lost and a blessed period of time. I want to hold on to the gentle, quiet pace. My safe little bubble, where I joyfully lived for these past many months, is being forced open. I'm watching my hopes and dreams, routines and patterns dissipate out the open doors and windows, and try as I might, I'm afraid I'll never catch them and bring them back close to me again.

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    Dayna Del Val

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  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    I double dog dare you…

    March 27, 2021 / 5 Comments

    And I had that awful, slow dawning of understanding that I have been holding on to this for the entirety of my life because it has "served" me to cast myself as a victim. When I use an oft-repeated phrase that I heard growing up as the reason why I can't do this or that; when I allow it to hamper the deep intimacy I have ever had with any man, including my husband; when I give it more credibility than my intellect, my accomplishments, my spirit, heart and dreams, then whatever failures I have had or might have if I take too big a leap can be passed off…

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    Dayna Del Val

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  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Abundance and letting go

    March 4, 2021 / 0 Comments

    When I got up this morning, things had changed. I mean, nothing had gone viral or anything bonkers, but I had a few new subscribers to my YouTube channel, a woman whose content we used for Daily Dose recently shared the post and put up the loveliest note about it. I had a number of incredibly interesting conversations with people I am just getting to know about all kinds of content issues and opportunities. And most importantly, I slept well, something I rarely do.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Stepping away from an opportunity

    September 22, 2021

    Now I gotta cut loose, footloose…

    July 10, 2021

    Two Voices of Hope: Our Beginning, From My Side (2a)

    February 8, 2020
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