Shame at what's weighing you down breeds an almost frenzied desire to isolate. Mustn’t be discovered by everyone else, by anyone else–no one will understand what you’re going through; shame convinces you that you are the only person who has “failed” in this way, fallen down or been dragged down by someone else. Isolation, in turn, feeds fully off the stories you continue telling yourself as the shame piles higher and higher, burying you under its massive, crushing layers.
There were moments that were utterly familiar, chapters that were challenging to traverse, dreamy and surreal passages that felt other-worldly and lines that reminded me that I was not in a place I understood or belonged. I simultaneously recognized and was bewildered by much of it. She writes as if she is inside my brain, has lived my life and is asking the questions I am asking: